See Your Relationships Clearly.
Identify patterns, log the good and the bad, and regain your perspective with the world's first research-informed relationship documentation platform.
Track positive moments, daily interactions, and concerns. The full picture reveals the real pattern.
Research-Informed Methodology
Drawing on 69 published sources across clinical psychology, trauma research, family law, and neurodivergent vulnerability studies.
View Our SourcesAre you experiencing any of these?
Toxic behaviors are often subtle and hard to identify in the moment. But healthy patterns have names too. Our tools help you recognize both.
Gaslighting
Systematic attempts to make you question your own reality and sanity.
Erodes self-trust and reality testing. Over time, you become dependent on the abuser to tell you what's "real."
🧠 Autistic and ADHD individuals may be especially vulnerable due to lifelong experiences of being told their perceptions are "wrong."
Research: Stern, 2018; Freyd, 1997
Stonewalling
The refusal to communicate or cooperate as a control tactic.
Activates abandonment fear. The stonewalled person often escalates, which is then used as evidence of being "crazy."
Research: Gottman, 1994 — one of the "Four Horsemen"
Love Bombing
Excessive attention and affection used to manipulate into a trauma bond.
Creates a biochemical "high" that becomes the baseline. When withdrawn, the target chases the original feeling.
Research: Archer, 2017 — narcissistic abuse cycles
DARVO
Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender behavior patterns.
Makes it impossible to address problems. The person raising the concern ends up apologizing.
Research: Freyd, 1997 — Betrayal Trauma Theory
Coercive Control
A pattern of acts used to isolate, humiliate, and intimidate.
An ongoing regime that strips away personhood systematically. Now criminalized in several countries.
🧠 ND individuals with higher compliance patterns from lifelong invalidation may be especially vulnerable.
Research: Stark, 2007 — criminalized in UK, Ireland, Scotland
Parental Alienation
Turning a child against the other parent through psychological manipulation.
Weaponizes the parent-child bond. Children are at elevated risk for depression and relationship difficulties.
Research: Fidler & Bala, 2010
Healthy relationships have recognizable patterns too.
Repair Attempts
Taking initiative to heal after conflict — apologizing, softening, reaching out.
"I'm sorry I raised my voice. Can we try again?" Gottman found that the success of repair attempts is the single best predictor of relationship outcome.
Research: Gottman, 1999
Responding to Bids
Noticing and engaging when someone reaches for emotional connection.
Partner says "Look at that sunset" — you stop and look (turning toward) vs. "Mm-hmm" while scrolling (turning away). Couples who turn toward 86% of the time stay together.
Research: Gottman, 1999
Respecting Autonomy
Supporting someone's independent choices, friendships, and identity.
"I'm glad you have plans with your friends." Supporting a career change without guilt. Autonomy is the opposite of coercive control.
Research: Stark, 2007 (inverse); Johnson, 2008
Your Path to Clarity
Take the Diagnostic
Assess 80+ specific behaviors across 8 psychological domains.
Log Daily Experiences
Track positive moments, concerns, and everyday interactions. Balanced data reveals the real pattern — not just the bad days.
See Patterns Emerge
View your relationship health score (0-100) updated in real-time.
Take Informed Action
Export reports for your attorney, therapist, or personal reference. Or use the data to make your own decisions with clarity.
Relationship Health Score
A real-time visualization of your relationship's health, calculated using research-informed metrics from 69 published sources.
Safety Features
Quick-exit button, instant hide, and secure storage to keep your records private.
Balanced Logging
Track positive, negative, and neutral events. See your real ratio measured against Gottman's 5:1 research threshold.
Trauma Encyclopedia
Research-informed guides on 9 major trauma types and recovery paths.
Pattern Detection
Identification of Gottman's "Four Horsemen" in your logged interactions.
Court-Ready Export
Export chronological logs formatted for legal proceedings, therapist review, or personal reference.
Designed for Your Journey
Going through a high-conflict divorce
Document patterns for court. Track escalation over time. Export chronological evidence your attorney can use.
Questioning if a relationship is toxic
Not sure if it's "bad enough"? Start logging. The data will answer — and if it's healthier than you feared, the data shows that too.
Co-parenting with a difficult ex
Log co-parenting interactions. Identify alienation patterns. Build documented evidence for custody proceedings.
Neurodivergent and navigating relationships
Tools designed for your brain, not despite it. Recognize when someone is exploiting your neurotype. Build boundaries on your terms.
Built by Someone Who Gets It
Created by an Advanced Certified Autism Specialist (IBCCES) and EdTech founder with dual master's degrees and 15+ years in technology. Research-informed. Neurodivergent-affirming. Built from lived experience.
Not Another Crisis App
Unlike crisis apps, we document the full picture — positive, negative, and neutral — so you see the real pattern, not just the worst moments.
Unlike journaling apps, we classify every behavior by name and research citation — giving you language for what you're experiencing.
Unlike therapy apps, you own your data completely. No one accesses your account — not us, not a therapist, not anyone. You decide who sees what.
Choose Your Level of Support
Clarity
$79.99/yr (save 33%)
- ✓ Full Diagnostic (80+ behaviors)
- ✓ Unlimited Logging
- ✓ Health Score
- ✓ Positive-to-Negative Ratio
- ✓ Basic PDF Export
Clarity Pro
$149.99/yr (save 37%)
- ✓ Everything in Clarity
- ✓ Pattern Detection
- ✓ Court-Ready Export
- ✓ Encrypted Backup
- ✓ Vulnerability Profile
- ✓ Up to 5 Relationships
Clarity + Recovery
$199.99/yr (save 44%)
- ✓ Everything in Pro
- ✓ Recovery Courses
- ✓ ND Relationship Toolkit
- ✓ Boundary Workshops
- ✓ Financial Independence Planning
All charges appear as "HB Digital"on your bank statement — never "Healthy Boundaries" or anything related to relationships, abuse, or health. Your subscription is invisible to anyone monitoring your finances.
Can't afford a subscription? Someone who cares about you can purchase a gift code — no credit card needed on your end. Your attorney or advocate may also have free access codes through our Professional Partner program.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is my data secure?
Yes. Your data is hosted on SOC 2 Type 2 certified infrastructure (Supabase) with row-level security — only you can access your records. Quick-exit button instantly navigates away. Charges appear as "HB Digital." No therapist, attorney, or staff member ever accesses your account. Your data belongs to you alone.
Will a charge show up on my bank statement that could reveal what this is?
No. All charges appear as "HB Digital" or "HBL Services" — never "Healthy Boundaries" or anything related to relationships, abuse, or mental health. We also suppress email notifications by default. During onboarding, we ask if your email is monitored so we can adjust communication accordingly.
Can these reports be used in court?
The reports are self-reported contemporaneous documentation — similar to a personal journal. Courts routinely accept such records as supporting evidence, especially when timestamped and made near the time of the event. Present alongside attorney guidance.
How does the diagnostic assessment work?
You assess 80+ specific behaviors across 8 psychological domains. Each behavior is defined, explained with real-world examples, and linked to peer-reviewed research. You check which behaviors are present — both toxic AND healthy — producing a 0-100 health score.
I'm not sure if my situation is "bad enough" to use this.
If you're asking that question, you deserve an answer. This platform doesn't require you to label your relationship as "abusive" to use it. Start logging. The data will tell its own story. And if your relationship is healthier than you feared, the data will show that too.
Why do you include positive and neutral events?
Because accuracy matters more than confirmation. A tool that only tracks bad things will make any relationship look terrible. By logging the full picture, you get the real ratio. Gottman's research shows stable relationships maintain a 5:1 positive-to-negative ratio during conflict.
Is this platform safe for neurodivergent users?
Yes. We designed with neurodivergence in mind from the start: quick-entry logging, sensory-friendly design, executive-function-friendly workflows, and psychoeducation that frames ND vulnerability as situational, not personal (Douglas & Sedgewick, 2024).
What if my partner monitors my phone or computer?
Our safety features include a quick-exit button (click or double-tap Escape) which instantly navigates to a neutral website and replaces browser history. We recommend using an incognito/private browser window. If you are being digitally monitored, consider using a friend's device or calling 1-800-799-7233.
Is this a replacement for therapy?
No. Healthy Boundaries is a documentation, education, and pattern-recognition tool. It complements therapy — many therapists find client logs invaluable for session planning. But it does not provide diagnosis, treatment, or clinical intervention.
Can I use this for a relationship with my parent, boss, or friend?
Absolutely. The platform supports 9 relationship types: romantic partner, co-parent, parent/child, sibling, extended family, friendship, workplace, professional/institutional, and caregiver/dependent.
Can someone else buy this for me if I can't afford it?
Yes. Our Gift Program lets anyone purchase an activation code for you. They never see your data or activity. You redeem the code with no credit card required. If you're working with an attorney, advocate, or therapist, ask if they're a Healthy Boundaries Professional Partner — they may have free access codes.
I'm an attorney, therapist, or advocate. How can I use this with clients?
Through our Professional Partner program. You receive referral codes that give clients free Clarity Pro access, co-branded export templates, and a directory listing. You never access client data. No HIPAA implications. Visit our For Professionals page to apply.